Five ways to: Deal with back-biting Friends?

Don't approach them with an accusation. Go and try to understand what they were saying. It is always possible that you didn't get the story exactly right. This takes some guts to do.

The success will be primarily through your attitude. If you honestly go to them and desire to hear the truth, they will see that. However, not everyone has the guts to accept their faults. But if you approach them like a lion ready to pounce on them, they will sense that too and maybe become even more defensive about their stand!

Don't accuse. You can tell them what you feel, but don't tell them how they are or what kind of a friend they are (or are not). It is MUCH more powerful to tell a friend that "you hurt my feelings when you said..." than it is to say, "you are a horrible friend for saying ..." They cannot argue with the way you feel, but they will become more defensive and hurtful to you (both at that moment and in the future) if you begin to accuse. All this does bring anger to you when you come to know that your friend reacted in a manner which was not acceptable to you, but staying calm is probably the best for you( mentally and physically)